Best part of completing a race?
The medal at the end.
Why is that silly medal so special? Not like it is actually made out of gold, silver, or bronze. But it is symbolic and meaningful nevertheless. A tangible representation of the challenge skillfully overcome. The proof to yourself and others that you did not give up.
Some finishes are more memorable than others. Some medals can only be earned through blood, sweat, and tears. These are the ones you hold in the highest regard because you know that particular day made you stronger.
Today I got to hold in my hand a new “medal” after my chemo port was removed. Over a year of enduring regular treatments but now that chapter is finished.
Very glad to be rid of the uncomfortable protruding bump in my chest. I’ve become good at dressing carefully to hide it underneath baggy clothes. It will be wonderful not to have it tug on clothing or a purse strap. And to be able to hug my kids without it getting awkwardly smashed. They never got used to the way it looked. It really bothered them. It wasn’t exactly easy on the eyes. Especially for little kids to see something sticking out under their Mamma’s skin looking like a hybrid between a Frankenstein bolt and a robotic button. I’ll give it to them, ports are creepy when you think about it.
So anyone want to play show and tell?
Here it is, nicely scrubbed clean by the surgery team. This is the part that acted as a pin cushion for all those needle pokes I have been given. It also had a long tube that was connected to it which went up into my neck and then down into my chest to somewhere important (how do they figure this stuff out?) so that treatments could go and do what they were supposed to do. That’s about all I needed to know.
Thank you port. You were the means to an end. And now you are outta here.
I find closure in looking at this metal and knowing that it means cancer is over. This challenge was definitely won through blood, sweat, and tears. You know I love that finish line feeling.
My friend jokingly asked if I was going to make a necklace out of it. She may be on to something. I should put a string through it and hang it with all the other medals on my wall. Every single one is a reminder of challenges that have made me stronger.